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[ti:The Slim Shady]
[la:uk]
[00:02]Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
[00:04]Fed up with life and the way things are going,
[00:07]he decides to rob a liquor store.
[00:09]("I cant take this no more, I cant take it no more homes")
[00:11]But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
[00:13]And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")
[Dr. Dre]
[00:17]Alright, stop! (Huh?)
[00:18]Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
[00:20]and try to get money out the drawer
[00:22]You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
[00:24]Im your motherfuckin conscience
[Eminem]
[00:26]Thats nonsense!
[00:27]Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunts cribs
[00:30]And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
[00:33]Tell her you need a place to stay
[00:34]Youll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade
[Dr. Dre]
[00:38]Yeah but if it all goes through like its supposed to
[00:40]The whole neighborhood knows you and theyll expose you
[00:43]Think about it before you walk in the door first
[00:45]Look at the store clerk, shes older than George Burns
[Eminem]
[00:48]Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
[00:51]Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
[00:53]Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
[00:56]Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?
[Dr. Dre]
[00:59]Man, dont do it, its not worth it to risk it! (Youre right!)
[01:01]Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
[01:04]Dont even listen to Slim yo, hes bad for you
[01:07](You know what Dre? I dont like your attitude..)
{sound of static}
[01:11]("Its alright cmon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I dont know!")
[01:15]("Look baby..")
("Damn!")
[01:17]("Yo, its gonna be alright, right?")
("Well OK..")
[announcer]
[01:19]Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")
[01:21]After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
[01:23]things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
[01:26]Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")
[Eminem]
[01:31]Now listen to me, while youre kissin her cheek
[01:32]and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
[01:35]Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitchs earlobe..
[01:38](Yo! This girls only fifteen years old
[01:41]You shouldnt take advantage of her, thats not fair)
[01:44]Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
[01:47]Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
[01:49]Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
[01:52](Man, aint you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
[01:54]No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
[01:57](Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
[01:59]Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..
{sound of static}
{pickup idling, radio playing}
[announcer]
[02:09]Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
[02:12]After coming home from a hard days work,
[02:16]he walks in the door of his trailer park home
[02:18]to find his wife in bed with another man.
[02:22]("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")
("Grady!!")
[Dr. Dre]
[02:23]Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..
[Eminem]
[02:26]Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
[02:28]While you at work shes with some dude tryin to get off?!
[02:31]FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCHS HEAD OFF!!!
[Dr. Dre]
[02:33]Wait! What if theres an explanation for this shit?
[02:36](What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
[02:38]Alright Shady, maybe hes right Grady
[02:41]But think about the baby before you get all crazy
[Eminem]
[02:44]Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
[02:47]Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
[02:49]Thats what I did, be smart, dont be a retard
[02:52]You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!
[Dr. Dre]
[02:55]